Tag Archives: Relationship

Spirituality & Relationships Pt 4

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At what point, does someway say, “Okay… it’s finally time to start looking out for my spiritual well-being” even if they know it could mean a severing of the “old ways”?

Our spiritual well-being should always be first. What good can come from sacrificing your own spirituality?  Your spiritual well-being directly affects your relationship. Just be as honest as you can about how you define your spiritual well-being. Sometimes we desire something that is different than what we have, when the greatest opportunity and what we actually need, is right under our nose.

Repeating here: Your spiritual well-being (growth) is the first need of your heart and the purpose of life. It is always time to take care of this, always.

The purpose of all life is the refinement of awareness. At the human level it gets interesting because we have the ability to make radical choices and change directions unlike other species. Growth is why we are here. We can accelerate or prolong it, but we cannot escape it. There is a great lesson plan waiting for all of us in our karma.

The main teaching overall seems to be about perfecting our love. What it is, where it comes from, and how to share it with all, is a direction we all are moving in. Our experience of love is directly related to our level of awareness. Our movement is fueled by our search for joy. We can deny it for some time, but the call in our heart will never release us until we are free.

I believe that the more we perfect our love, the deeper will our experience of joy be. We are made of love. We are rays of love shining from the heart of God into every niche of life. If we would allow God’s love to shine freely through the channels of our hearts we would know everything there is to know.

Look for opportunities to expand your willingness to accept others as they are, and to love them deeply without attachment. See those relationships you have now and pray that God help you release your attachments to the ones you love, so that your love and service for them can be even more pure than it is already.

In the act of loving we find fulfillment. Why ever stop then? Even when things do need to change or we are forced to make decisions that are difficult for others or ourselves, there is no reason to stop loving anyone.

I hope this helps answer the question posed above. Do what you feel is right. Do not be a reaction, but instead make your choices with calm intuition. Try to do what is truly best (not what is easy, or accepted as normal) for all concerned. Nothing in life is separate from your spiritual path, nothing.

Finally, if you have a partner who is antagonistic toward your spirituality or your psychological well-being, that is trying to stop you and mocks your chosen path; why on earth would you stay with them? What good could come out of this kind of relationship?

These are my honest opinions based on the questions that were posted. I always look forward to your comments and questions. Your input will help to define the direction of these posts.

Spirituality & Relationships Pt 3

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How does one remain on the path when faced with what would appear to be constant opposition where energy flow is concerned???

Never stop trying to move forward, and don’t focus on outcome as much as your moment to moment experience. You’ll never be off of your path. Do your best to work with things as they are. Do not become a reaction, but release attachments, pray and meditate, and consider the guidance you feel in your heart center. When you are calm and can release attachments, trust what you feel there, and act on it.

If your partner or any person is actively trying to control or stop your own personal growth he/she is crossing a boundary that allows for your individual needs and freedom; this is abuse. No person has the right to stop you from doing anything you believe in that is not harmful to others.

If this is about a committed partner, it may help to have clarity on what you both want to do as a pair and what you each need to do individually. I think the goal for both of you could be to actively support where you can, and where that is not a fit, be supportive in spirit by allowing the other the space they need.

In more general terms, there is a subtle energy present everywhere in our environment to varying degrees that pulls downward on your energy. It’s like the gravity that opposes the flight of an airplane, or when climbing up a mountain. It’s subtler than gravity; it operates on the level of consciousness. This is a power we must overcome daily when we are on the spiritual path. It affects us through our own attitude, and in many other ways too. There is no way around it, but you can ease your way through it with positive, loving, and accepting energy. To become negative only makes it worse. And this obviously applies to dealing with people also.

If you were not rising upward, you would not be so aware of this force in others or yourself. It’s just part of moving ahead on your path. You don’t pay much attention to the bumps in the road until you moving right? Just don’t allow them to become your main focus by taking them personally.

Keep your eyes on your destination and NEVER give up trying. Try even to enjoy the ride, for this may be the most important thing of all.

“A saint is a sinner who never gave up.”
Paramhansa Yogananda

Spirituality & Relationships Pt 2

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How do you keep yourself from not being affected by their mood swings?

Understanding the source of the moods may help. It all depends on how we look at things. It’s pointless to blame others for what we are feeling. If we are reacting to their mood swings, it’s up to us to recognize this and let our (unreasonable) expectations go. Work with “what is.” A healthy level of non-attachment may allow your relationship to deepen instead of shrinking it with a controlling energy that is unhealthy for both of you.

“Love” that is based on what we want or like is a reaction. It’s not real in itself. This is what I call “human love,” it’s based on circumstances. Circumstances will change as people grow.  Relationships that are based on “human love” are fragile at best. The conditions we prefer are like a “bucket,” which holds the “milk” of love, patience, and joy we share. With every change life brings, a potential leak occurs in this bucket, which causes drama, fear or suffering, and strains our ability to support each other. This is why most relationships do not last.

At some point we have to decide if we are married to the conditions we prefer, or to supporting the higher essence of our partner; their conscience. The changes we face offer new opportunities for growth, and help us refine our understanding of love. How we respond to changes in each other defines our love. Sometimes a partnership will begin as a conditional one, but the pair develops a deeper bond by overcoming obstacles together. If one focuses on the higher essence of their partner they may find a more lasting way to love & support them, raising the level of the relationship toward a more unconditional, divine form of love. This is a more clear expression of the Love each of us receives from God, what I call divine love.

Mood swings may be a symptom of inner struggle or the result of over-indulgence of the senses. Either way they are on the surface of ones being.

If person A is reacting negatively toward person B, or is angered or resentful or intolerant of changes B is going through, this could be a good time to sit down and look at what is really trying to happen in this relationship. Is each person allowing the other the freedom needed to continue living a healthy expansive life?

Mood swings that are directed at another are not cool. But mood swings that a loved one is dealing with but not directing at you personally, or blaming you for, are something you might choose to accept.

More coming. Post your comments below. I look forward to hearing from you.

Spirituality & Relationships Pt 1

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This is a big subject and it’s often “charged” for people. Only you can decide what is right for your situation. Honestly, this subject is intimidating for me to write about. Working directly with a couple or an individual is much different than writing for a group.

I’m going to start off by trying to answer some questions recently posted in comments that were in response to my post called “Stop Negative Thoughts.” Let’s see where that takes us.

How do you remain positive if your partner/spouse/significant other is not walking the same path?

As we mature spiritually our ability to accept others as they are actually grows. If lack of acceptance is the issue, I think we must look to ourselves for the answer.

It helps to have some clarity about what this relationship means to you, what you desire it to be. (a whole new subject? Comments are welcome)

Can you love your partner as they are? If your life has taken a new direction it can be frightening for them. We don’t often grow at the same pace or in the same way. Each person has his/her own karma and it’s important to respect that. One way to love another is to commit to seek and find the best in them. In my opinion, once we have committed to a life partnership it’s our duty to support the highest in the other, even when it’s very hard to locate! Just because you are changing, does this require your partner to change also?

More coming soon.